12/25 Feliz Navidad from La Cruz/Puerta Vallarta.

Merry Christmas everyone,
We are near Puerta Vallarta and it is lovely here. The marina is full of other cruisers and we are beginning friendships one couple at a time. We passed the tropic of cancer on our way here and are now officially in the tropics.

Today was the first Christmas I have ever spent away from my family and the first Christmas in more than 20 years that I havn't been packed up to head to the family cabin near Chinook Pass for the week between Christmas and New Years. Everything in my life is different today except for being sober.

This is a year of beginnings. We are beginning to make our own new traditions and finding a way to celebrate without so many of the things we take for granted in the states. Last night we attended mass in a small Catholic church here in La Cruz. We arrived early and the church was nearly empty. In the next thirty minutes it filled to capacity and then spilled out into the court yard. Bill gave up his seat to an elderly woman and so spent his time standing with a hundred other latecomers in the coolness of the dark courtyard. I didnt understand but every tenth word but somehow managed to follow along well enough. Stand up, sit down, kneel, hum along to an unknown tune. The church had big open windows along both sides of the sanctuary with little boy fingers gripping the bars and peering inside to watch the show. the language problem didnt interfear at all with the sense of peace and serenity that filled me as i sat watching the crowd take communion.

Tonight we went into town and attended a community event. Fifty pesos apiece and a potluck dish bought us two seats and all the turkey we could eat. The community -local expats and more than a hundred cruisers- came together to bring presents to the local children. After dinner and while the band was playing the children began to line up outside: girls to the left and boys to the right. The community managed to collect more than 1500 presents for slightly more than 400 kids. The kids were wiggling with excitment but quiet and patient. Every child recieved one large present and a bag filled with goodies and every one had a chance to talk to Santa Claus!

This year somehow the whole present thing escaped us. I knew I wasnt going to try and send gifts home (its virtually impossible to ship things into or out of the country here)but it totally slipped my mind to think about a gift for Bill. I also didnt have a tree for the first time in my life. Instead I hung garland and tiny ornaments inside the boat. The gift giving lapse somehow was upsetting to me and I told Bill that next year we needed to take the time to exchange gifts even if it was something small. There is something wonderful about giving a gift and I missed that. Finding just the right thing for someone is as much for the giver as for the receiver. I did manage to buy my first Christmas ornament of the season. Its a tiny clay Santa bell and my hope is to begin a tradition of buying an ornament in every new country we reach. Maybe the lack of a single gift only seemed important to me because of the loss of so many other traditions and missing my family too? It did feel right though to give away a sizeable bit of cash that went to the local kids here and in Mazatlan. It felt like money better spent. It was easy to tell that here and in Mazatlan not a dime was going to go to waste. Too many feet to put shoes on and too many mouth to feed for there to be anything lost in the translation.

I dont know when I will stop missing my family or when we will have enough new traditions to feel concrete but I do know that the people we have been meeting along the way are giving us a great gift with their time and their friendships. We are slowly beginning to feel a part of. And for this alcoholic being a part of is paramount. That is why when I make it to AA anywhere any time there is almost always a wonderful sense of peace that I experience. I can walk into a room of AA and I am instantly a part of. That paradox of being accepted and loved for the very thing that I was ashamed of for so very long. I belong and I have my own experience strength and hope that I bring along with me. It is a blessing to be here, to have the freedomn to travel and explore and to carry that strength with me along the way.
Merry Christmas to you all. I hope the holiday season finds you full of peace and serenity and that all of us have the chance to share it with others and to appreciate being a part of something greater than ourselves. Today someday will be our own piece of how different it used to be...years ago in AA. Love kat