4/4

We are now in Mazatlan having come here from La Paz to meet my mom and my sister who flew down for a visit. When we pulled in to the slip at Singular Marina I noticed the name on the boat next door: "Came To Believe." It made me smile just looking at it. Several years ago now my step son Josh was a memeber of the University of Washington's sailing school/Yacht Club. He met and became very good friends with a fellow names Rich who owned "Came to Believe." We knew he had sailed her to Mexico and we knew he had encountered some health problems that forced him to give up the cruising life and sell the boat.

Here she still sits. Though she looks a little worse for the wear she is essentially still sea worthy and ready for more adventure. We have been here for more than a week now and have not seen anyone step aboard. We were told that a local Mexican family bought her and I hope they decide to give her a good wash and take her out sometime soon. Most boats take on a new name with a new owner so I am pleased to have had a chance to see her and remember the importance of step 2.

For me the importance of step two really became apparent when I began to understand the insanity I was producing around me on a daily basis. It was all self inflicted. My denial was overwhelming and so the insanity just fed on itself again and again and again. Depression, roiling mania followed by suicidal thoughts and more depression. Is it any wonder we self medicate desperatly trying to erase the jumble of feelings inside? Today I don't live that way. In fact I never have to live that way again. Came to Believe is such a simple concept but so truly powerful. How does it go? I can't, He can, I think I'll let Him.?

Right this moment I am feeling a bit down. A combination of sickness and sadness. I am trying to recover from the flu -102.4 temp, achy, stomach upset yuck and my mom and sis are sitting at the airport waiting on their flight out. The flu made me miss some of the precious time I had available. The anticipation of the trip is way better than the realization that they are gone and not knowing when we will touch bases again. Sometimes I wonder if the visits are worth the sadness but then again I do believe that the good byes are getting easier. Maybe its because we have been out for over 11 months now? Or that the continued contact via skype, email, letters etc has proven easier than we thought?

So, tonight as long as my temperature stays down we will be hitting a meeting here in Mazatlan tonight and I already have the womens meeting this week on my calandar. I hope to catch up on some correspondence and get enough rest and fluids to combat this flu then we will be off again, headed for Lareto Fest in Lareto Mx. It will be a four day passage so I hope the flu runs its course soooon.