10/16

Hi,

We spent the last 12days in Newport Beach. The longest we have stayed in any one place since leaving home in May. Too bad it wasn’t because we loved the place. In fact it was the singularly least welcoming place we have been too. Newport Beach is in Orange County, otherwise known as The OC. Evidently made famous by a hugely popular television program. I can’t vouch for the TV show as we have never seen it since we haven’t owned a TV since moving aboard in January of 2007. But there are reminders and references all over the Newport Beach area and what I have gathered from all the references is that it is a show devoted to a place filled with the worlds beautiful people and their excesses.

Our new friends (and fellow AA members)Liz and Chris whom we met on Catalina Island were the first ones to mention Orange County. They stated that they lived in OC for many years and that they were delighted to be out after their move to San Pedro. They talked about the differences they experienced and that people in OC were self absorbed and materialistic. We could relate to their happiness at being somewhere “much better” yet not having been there it was hard to understand what they meant. Then we spent time there.

Amazingly the friendliness or lack of even penetrated the walls of Orange County AA. I attended three meetings while we were there –all at the same Alano Club. One I attended alone – a womans meeting- not one person spoke to me. Not one. These women did not even meet my gaze. I introduced myself as from out of town and also as celebrating my 8th birthday this month. Nothing. Not a “congratulations” or a single “welcome.” Bill and I attended two other meetings together and they were marginally better. One a fellow came up after and momentarily spoke with Bill. The other meeting a woman who I had seen at a previous meeting spoke to me in the ladies room and then spoke with Bill and I for a minute or two afterwards. For every meeting we arrived early and stayed after. Each meeting we announced when asked that we were from out of town and I shared that it was my birthday month.

In all the meetings I have every attended this was the single least friendly place I have been. I have been to meetings all over Washington, all up and down the BC coast and interior, Alaska, Phoenix, Las Vegas, Mexico, Hawaii, Oregon, Tahiti and the Bahamas. It isn’t California because I was welcomed in Santa Barbara and Catalina, Marina Del Rey and Ventura. It made me miss the women from my home group and it made me feel very sad that they don’t even know what they are missing.

For today I am happy we are heading back to Catalina where I know I will be welcomed and "a part of" the moment I walk in the door of their little meeting place. I am grateful for all the friendship I have found in recovery, grateful for the places I have not been yet and the people I will meet along the way. I am grateful for Liz and Chris and the fellowship they so generously offered us and I pray that there IS fellowship in OC and I just missed it.

kat