1/30 Kicking myself

How is it possible that I am so near Puerta Vallarta and yet didn't make it to the Sobriety Under The Sun AA Convention? First off it is nearly an hours bus ride from where we have the boat in La Cruz and the buses to La Cruz stop runing at 9:00pm so we would have had to miss the Friday night activities and the Saturday night dinner and main speaker. There were no rooms left available anywhere near there that I could afford. Second, for Bill and I to both attend it would have cost $190. The No Booze cruise was already sold out so that was an easy decision. So by the time we skipped Friday and Saturday nights activities we would have missed 2/3 of the "good stuff" and it just didnt seem right to pay nearly $200 for a Sunday Speakers meeting and the Saturday Panels. I went over and over it in my mind and decided to skip it. Then unfairly I began holding a bit of a resentment over not going. My decision in the end and the resentment only effecting me (and those around me who got a wiff of a slightly foul mood.) Why was I resentful? Well I kept asking Bill if we could attend and he kept saying we'll see, we'll see because until the last minute we didn't know if we would still be here. It certainly isn't fair to be mad at him when in the end I am the one who wasn't willing to go to any length. But right now I am kicking myself and second guessing what this means about the state of my program. I will make a meeting tomorrow night......but it is feeling more and more like the meetings are sort of a luxury. I can't wait until we move on and find some meetings closer to us and easier to reach. ~sigh~ kat